from the desk of...candidate 2

Long Division

Post-TPE, the on-campus extravaganzas!

So I only have two on-campus interviews, which is good. Hey, I'm happy to have one! Especially since one of them... is my top choice! I'm so pumped.

But the other... is my back up school. I had not intended to interview on-campus there; as a matter of fact they were the institution that had offered an on-campus before I even left the table from my second interview at TPE. And I know I will make some enemies saying this but to be very honest... I was actually bummed.

Some recent family issues are forcing me to look local for jobs. Okay, not forcing. But, it is heavily heavily heavily weighing on me deciding what to do for next year. School #1 is very local and I would love to work there. School #2? Completely across the country.

My mom has always supported me but when I told her I was applying with them at TPE her reaction was "Wow, sounds like a great campus!"

When I told her I got a second interview, her reaction was, "Wow... sounds like they're really interested."

When I told her I got an on-campus interview, her reaction was, "Wow... do you think you'll go?"

And when I told her of course, I had to go; I had no other official offers at the time and was worried I'd end up with no job come next year, her reaction was, "Are you sure you want to go so far away?"

Don't get me wrong... A part of me actually doesn't want to go so far away. I love where I live and while I would love to stretch my muscles and live in a bunch of different places while I'm young and unattached, I really see myself eventually coming back here to raise a family and settle down.

But how many people get the chance to completely start over in a new place? A new city, a new state, a brand new institution? And get paid to do it? I'd be exposed to an entirely new campus culture, new types of students, new norms and traditions and policies. While yes, it would be a huge challenge, it would be one that once I'd successful hurdled over, I would feel so proud of what I'd accomplished.

But could I leave my family so stranded like that?

My heart feels divided. Half dedicated to wanting to see myself succeed, and half tied to the inevitable future that is taking care of my family that needs me.