from the desk of... candidate 1

Ugh.

Sadly, I haven't been keeping up with blogging like I should. To my surprise it has become less fun for me to do. Instead, both blogging and the job search process has become extremely anxiety producing for me. Schools aren't calling when they say they would, schools are extending offers but not closing their process. Needless to say, it isn't exactly what I expected. And to further it, there seems to be a high level of dissonance between what I cognitively know and how I feel. Moreover, this experience has been one to teach me how to manage my emotions. As I type, I recognize all of these things would be great to blog about. I am just not sure I can. My nervousness and anxiety has pushed me to a place of anger and frustration, and shows a side of me that I don't like.

I apologize. I was extremely excited to blog. It seemed like the perfect way to talk about my experience. And at the beginning it was. However, now I am at a place where my expectations are not being matched by the experience and I am not reacting in a way that makes me proud.

The funny part is that I imagine my outlook to change if I were offered my #1 job today. However, what does that mean about how I responded in the interim. That's the part that scares me. This is not going to be my last job search, nor the last experience that causes me to feel this way. And getting what I want isn't the magic answer. Simply, what do I do with the space in between?

from the desk of...candidate 4

The night was warm and nearly over and I didn’t want to leave her yet. S, my girlfriend, had spent the evening running around with her friend’s four children and was exhausted by all the action, noise, and activity. I came over to spend some time with her, but ended up spending more time watching the kids with her.

“I’m over-stimulated,” she sighed after we left the house.

Her back was throbbing from an inflamed disc. She needed to sleep, but she wanted just a few minutes with me, alone.

We drove to a nearby steakhouse and bar, the only place in town that looked open at 9:45 on a Thursday. But we found out that it too would be closed at the stroke of 10. So we walked around the building and found a small grassy grotto with a fountain in the middle. We found some rocking chairs on the back porch of the restaurant. I gave her the seat with the best back support and dragged another chair over for her to put her feet on. I sat next to her and we looked out at the spouting fountain, listening to the calm gurgling sounds of water.

“I wanted to talk to you a little more about something,” I said.

“Ok,”

“You’ve said before that if I were to get a job in another state that you would come with me, right?”

She nodded her head.

“I’ve applied to every school in the area, and I’ve been rejected by almost every single one,” I said. “It seems lately, I’ve only been applying only to places out of state. If I do get a job, chances are I’ll have to move. How do you feel about that?”

She took in those words and thought a moment. She sighed and looked into my eyes.

“I can’t live without you,” she said. “I want to be where you are.”

“And I want to be with you,” I said. “I’m doing this so I can be in a position to support you and we can be together.”

“I know,” she said. “And to be honest, it scares me to think about moving. But I don’t dwell on it much, since nothing is concrete and we don’t know what’s going to happen.”

“Let’s play pretend,” I said. “Let’s say, I get a job at this school I applied to today in Northern California…”

“Yes?”

“We would be up in the mountains, and close to the ocean…”

“Sounds nice”

“…and you would be out of your comfort zone because we’d be living around all these liberal hippies! ”

She starts to laugh.

“Or I might get the job in the rolling hills of Pennsylvania, where it’s beautiful and wooded, and we’d be outdoors all the time,” I said.

“That sounds nice too,” she said. “But I would want to get married before I ever moved in with you.”

Admittedly, I’m still a little squeamish at the “m” word. It’s like the feeling some people get by watching a live operation on TV, all the blood and exposed organs is a little overwhelming and I want to put my head down between my knees. But I suck it up. Because deep down, I think I would like the “m” word with her.

“Well, we might be able to arrange something,” I said, smiling. “But don’t call this a proposal!”

She laughs and leans her head back. I squeeze her hand.

“It’s just that if I get a job within the next month, that’s really quick and we wouldn’t really have time to plan anything,” I said.

“That’s true.”

“What if…what if I got a job in another state and I went out there for a semester, just six months, and got settled in, got on my feet, and I came out to see you once a month, and we talked every day, and if things work out, we plan on getting married at the end of that time, and you come move out to be with me? Although, I know you said you couldn’t do a long distance relationship.”

“No, I couldn’t do a long distance relationship if I didn’t know where it was going,” she said. “But being apart for a few months and knowing that it was going to end with us being married, that’s different. No, I think that would be a good idea. I think I could handle that.”

We continued to watch the fountain shoot water from its spout, and enjoy the peaceful serenity of the moment. It was getting late. She needed to go back to her place. I needed to get back to mine. We would be apart for awhile. But I would be back with her again soon.

from the desk of...candidate 4

Correspondence Blues

It's been a few weeks since I've heard from any employeers or seen any new postings.

I sent a few emails out to departments I had applied to, sounding like a long forgotten friend, "hey, what's up? How's everything? Haven't heard from you in awhile..."

The only email reply I got back was from the one school I thought was most likely to invite me to an on-campus interview. The school had already interviewed me over the phone and contacted my three references. That only happens if they're really interested, I thought.

This what the note said:

"Thank you for checking in – I’m happy to hear that you continue to be interested in our Resident Director position, as we continue to be interested in your candidacy. I do have candidates currently scheduled to come to campus, but will continue to offer campus interviews on a rolling basis… at this time my April and May schedules are full and I am holding off to see where things play out with those currently scheduled. I hope this helps"

So was that a positive or negative email? Is it one of those messages that how you interpret it shows your outlook on life? If you perceive it as a subtle rejection note does that make you a cynical pessimist? Or if you see the note as hopeful, does that make you a delusional optimist?

Either way you look at it, it comes down to two things: a) the University has invited candidates to campus to interview for an interview and b) I'm not one of them.

Anyway, time to stop bitching and get back to applying to every job that comes along - regardless of location, compensation, and what I might think of the school. I've often thought this search is a numbers game. You have to applying to as many places as possible to help my chances. So, forgive me, I must go now and apply to some schools on the other side of the country that 99% of the population has never heard of before.

from the desk of...candidate 2

Long Division

Post-TPE, the on-campus extravaganzas!

So I only have two on-campus interviews, which is good. Hey, I'm happy to have one! Especially since one of them... is my top choice! I'm so pumped.

But the other... is my back up school. I had not intended to interview on-campus there; as a matter of fact they were the institution that had offered an on-campus before I even left the table from my second interview at TPE. And I know I will make some enemies saying this but to be very honest... I was actually bummed.

Some recent family issues are forcing me to look local for jobs. Okay, not forcing. But, it is heavily heavily heavily weighing on me deciding what to do for next year. School #1 is very local and I would love to work there. School #2? Completely across the country.

My mom has always supported me but when I told her I was applying with them at TPE her reaction was "Wow, sounds like a great campus!"

When I told her I got a second interview, her reaction was, "Wow... sounds like they're really interested."

When I told her I got an on-campus interview, her reaction was, "Wow... do you think you'll go?"

And when I told her of course, I had to go; I had no other official offers at the time and was worried I'd end up with no job come next year, her reaction was, "Are you sure you want to go so far away?"

Don't get me wrong... A part of me actually doesn't want to go so far away. I love where I live and while I would love to stretch my muscles and live in a bunch of different places while I'm young and unattached, I really see myself eventually coming back here to raise a family and settle down.

But how many people get the chance to completely start over in a new place? A new city, a new state, a brand new institution? And get paid to do it? I'd be exposed to an entirely new campus culture, new types of students, new norms and traditions and policies. While yes, it would be a huge challenge, it would be one that once I'd successful hurdled over, I would feel so proud of what I'd accomplished.

But could I leave my family so stranded like that?

My heart feels divided. Half dedicated to wanting to see myself succeed, and half tied to the inevitable future that is taking care of my family that needs me.

from the desk of... candidate 1

Creating the SUPER On-Campus Interview Schedule

So at this point, I have five on-campus interviews lined up. I am really excited about it. Most of them are on the west coast. I live on the east coast, so you can imagine that my challenge is to minimize the amount of cross country traveling that I will have to do. Since receiving my second on-campus interview offer, I have managed to build a schedule around the middle of April that has me traveling one day and interviewing the next. It’s rather intense. However, the great part is that when this tour is over so should the job search. I mean at least I’m hoping.

Somehow I have managed to get almost all institutions who, despite bad economic times, are covering travel experiences. I am so thankful. I think at this point I am out $60 for a one-way flight stringing together two interviews. How cool! I feel pretty lucky!

As I prepare I am both happy and nervous. One institution has asked that I prepare a presentation on any topic. I am almost done compiling the presentation. I think it is good, however, I am nervous that it will be two risky. The presentation deals with identity development and student leadership development.

After already completing one on-campus interview I feel like I know what questions to ask. I have a few that usually get some “ohhs, I didn’t think about that,” in response to what I am asking.

Well I am off, I need to pack. I mean 12 days away requires some intentional packing and a lot of undergarments. I am hopeful to post while I am away. I am sure something funny, peculiar, or great will happen while I travel. Wish me luck readers!

from the desk of... candidate 1

First On-Campus Interview…Expect the Unexpected

Last week I had my first on-campus interview for a Residence Director position. It was mind blowing. I was sent my schedule a few days before and found that there were 4 interview time blocks set aside for different groups to meet with me. My day was jammed pack, each hour chock full of conversation, new names, and tough questions.

My first meeting of the day was with the director of Residence Education. At first, I was nervous I wasn’t sure what to expect. On my schedule it said “meeting” instead of “interview” and it was only slotted for 30 minutes. To myself, I thought: “what could this meeting really be about. Was it code for interview?” Turns out that the meeting was great. The director shared with me the 30,000 foot view of the department and talked about the initiatives and the accomplishments of the department during his leadership.

After meeting with the director, I had an interview with the Assistant Directors of the department. There were five of them. This interview was FUN. They asked great questions and they seemed really engaged. On several occasions they asked questions that were not on their question sheet, but rather questions that were related to the pieces of information I was sharing with them. We even managed to laugh together during our hour.

Next up was one my one-hour interview with some of the current Residence Directors. This interview was AWKWARD. They didn’t seem like they were on the same page, and they didn’t seem like they wanted to be there. The group asked questions in a round robin style, one person to the next. Most questions seemed relevant and I was able to answer them confidently. At the end I was given time to ask questions. One of my first questions was: “What’s the community like among the Residence Directors?” In response, one person smirked, and a second replied with a question, asking me what I meant. For me, this was not a good sign. I really didn’t think the question required much explanation.

My day included two more interviews. One with campus partners and another with current Resident Advisors. Both of which went well. By time the day ended, I was pooped and very ready to return home. Going in, I thought this on-campus interview was going to SUPERCOOL. I anticipated that the school would rise to the top of my choices for a job. Not so much. Being on-campus, meeting with people, and walking around really gave me a different perspective. Needless to say, I now think of the on-campus interview as a fresh start for any institution. I think you should think of it that way too.

from the desk of... candidate 4

So I started seeing this girl.

I wasn’t planning on seeing anyone during this time in my life. I was in “transition” as they call it, waiting for my career to kick start again, waiting to move back out of my parents house, waiting for a steady paycheck, waiting to have independence and a renewed sense of confidence. But let’s face it; I also thought I’d get a job in a few weeks. That was five months ago. There’s still no job lined up or even in sight. The only feedback I’m getting post-Placement Exchange is rejection letters.

And somehow, despite everything, this girl saw something in me that I couldn’t, she believed in me and predicted that I would eventually be successful. She liked the gentle way I treated her, and that I brought her flowers. She even found my neurosis charming.

I thought she looked stunning in the slinky mocha dress I first saw her in at our friend’s wedding. She was sincere and sensitive; two characteristics I longed for in a girlfriend but had somehow always eluded me. She’s a counselor and knows a thing or two about encouraging people to get their acts together. You could say she helped me get mine.

For the last month, I spent time with her and all the hormones and chemicals that newfound love produces in the body started elevating my spirits, my attitude, and my sense of purpose.

I wanted to get a job, but no longer just for me and my sense of self worth. I wanted to get a job so I could be stable for her. Who knows? Maybe there will be a time when I’ll want something more long term with the sincere, sensitive counselor. But if that happens, I would need to be gainfully employed.

So, I started my job search again this week with a renewed sense of purpose and vigor. There’s more at stake now than before.

from the desk of... candidate 4

The Placement Exchange started out scary. Really scary.

On my first morning of the conference, I went to my mailbox cubby, expecting to find a box full of invitations, like Christmas presents, waiting for me. I was excited to see a handful of notes from the Universities I requested to meet with the night before. But as I read them, my heart began to sink.

“After reviewing you resume, we have determined you are not qualified for this position and we are not interested in pursuing you as a candidacy.” A simple no would have sufficed.

I felt out of my league as all the confident, impeccably-dressed professionals strolled past me to their of job interviews. Some commented how they already had three so far this morning. I didn’t have any interviews this morning. I didn’t know if I would have any at all.

I talked with a few people that seemed to know the ropes. They had interviews already lined up in advance and had to reject other universities offers to interview them because their schedules were booked.

Teach me, I pleaded.

In a sense of panic, I started making notes to every school in attendance. “Please talk to me!” I seemed to scream in my messages.

By the end of the first day, after many more rejection notices, I had finally a few confirmed interviews lined up. By the end of the conference I had a tidy sum, maybe 7 different schools interviewed me. Not bad.

What blew my mind was how much the mood varied from interview to interview. I mean, they asked the same questions and I basically gave the same responses. Some interviews went fantastic: the mood and energy was high, there were laughs, rapport was built, and it was a fun experience. But others didn’t fare too well: awkward glances, miscommunication, low energy, and little connection, as if I was running into a wall. The morning interviews were terrible, grumpy, and sleepy, the afternoon ones were alert, responsive, and even-headed, and the evening ones were laid back, fun, sloppy, and always enjoyable.

I ended up with two second interviews. And I was invited to a nighttime social, an opportunity to “let your hair down.” But in reality it was still game on. That get-together was time to act like a politician; go around shaking hands, kissing babies, showing them how you interact, all that stuff.

All in all, I’m glad I had the experience. I realized there are a lot of people looking for these Hall Director jobs, more than I thought. A lot of them seem more experienced than me. I might not be at a point where I can just choose any university in the country I want to work for and expect to find a job. I might have to apply everywhere and take anything I can get. Even if it’s in the middle of nowhere, thousands of miles from home. As one candidate said to me while waiting for his last interview, “Brother needs a job.”

from the desk of... candidate 1

Life Post TPE

It’s hard to think that more than 2 weeks have passed since completing TPE. It was a whirlwind of an experience. Up until this point, I haven’t really shared it with my readers. And now that it is SUPER done, I figured I would share what it was like. So let’s dive right in.

I arrived to Seattle on Wednesday, March 4th. I wanted to make sure I had plenty of time to get settled and create my own “on-site” office. Quickly my hotel room was transformed into a job work station with resumes, cover letters, and business cards taking over the desk. I roomed with a great friend who is doing a very different job search which helped tremendously. I knew going in there would be few jobs that we would both be seeking.

During the first “official” day of TPE I attended orientation and saw many old friends and colleagues. It was refreshing. And without much lapse in time, I immediately went and checked my mailbox. Something I would do with a lot of frequency for the next couple days. My roommate and I didn’t stay around much longer after orientation. We both had a long night ahead of us, and needed to prepare for interviews.

The next couple days of interviews went by very quickly. To summarize I interviewed for 14 different positions, I had a total of 23 interviews over 3 days. I think I counted somewhere between 15 and 16 hours of talking. A lot I know. Most people told me I was pretty crazy for interviewing so much, and thought I should be more selective. Constantly, I like to remind them that “it is a full-time job, to get a full-time job.”

Personally, I was satisfied with my decision to interview as much as I did. I have a lot of stamina for interviewing and it was fun to do. I approached it like being a machine. I ate, hydrated, stayed focused and cranked out as much relevant information I could during every single interview. Surely, each night I came back to my hotel and was exhausted. However after day two of interviews I was ready for the conference to begin and interviewing to end. I enjoyed my time in Seattle so much more when I was able to just sit and be. No pressure to be “on” you know.

Fast-forwarding to life beyond campus, I am excited to share that I have 4 on-campus interviews setup. Soon I will be traveling all over the country to try and secure the infamous first Residence Director job. As a matter of fact, I am interviewing this week at a large institution in an urban center. I am excited, but I am sure the process of traveling will tire me out.

from the desk of... candidate 2

'Cause You're Hot and You're Cold...'

My first night in Seattle, after I’d spent a day at TPE running around and interviewing, scheduling appointments, socializing and generally hovering over my mailbox, my mom called. She wasn’t quite sure what I meant when I said that employers and candidates all come to the same place and interview all at once, so I thought of the only way I could metaphor it for her so she’d understand. “It’s like speed dating plus job search,” I told her.

All these dates I went on at TPE start the same. You sit in the waiting room for your date to come pick you up. You anxiously flip through the notes you took about your date earlier that day as you researched them online, trying to figure out the right things to say so that they’d be impressed and really want to take you on a second date. You check your shirt and make sure there’s no leftover lunch on it, and rub the sweat off your palms. Just when you think they’ve stood you up, someone calls your name.

You lock eyes for a minute and the first judging begins. This is where the interviews can go in many different directions. My first interviewer was smiling brightly, gave me a firm handshake, and immediately started to get to know me as we walked back to the university’s table. My second interviewer had a dead pan face, a cold, clammy handshake, and we walked in silence as I floundered with my weak attempt at small talk.

Once the interview gets started, I realize I’m so nervous that I’m picking up on every little thing the interviewers do, good and bad. My first university is nodding a lot and commenting back on my answers: good. My second is spacing out, and a couple times I catch them stifling yawns: very bad! How can two similar interviews be so different? Shake it off! I tell myself. I can’t let this stick with me the rest of the day. Finally my six the first day were done and I limped back to my hotel room in my heels, only to have it in the back of my head that I have to do it all again tomorrow.

I know interviews aren’t supposed to be excruciating. I’ve prepped myself and pondered my answers to all possible questions, but the truth of the matter is that I absolutely loathe talking about myself. And when you’re placed in essentially a 30-minute infomercial in which you have to sell all your amazing qualities, I know I give a lackluster performance. It got easier as the three days carried on, but I don’t think any amount of prep or studying could have prepared me for a weekend of that. I couldn’t help but leave TPE feeling a little defeated.

On a positive note, I left TPE informally being offered an on-campus interview the following month, at a large, public university in the northeast. While none of my top schools have yet to follow up with me, I hope to reach out to them soon and make some connections there. In the meantime, I must explore my options given to me, and just continue to push along in the process.

from the desk of... candidate 2

Are We Hired Yet?

I recently read an article by Benjamin Ola Akande from Diverse Issues in Higher Education about the generational group “Millennials.” Born after 1982, Millennials are into instant gratification, technologically savvy (with electronics at each appendage), like structure and constructive feedback, and thrive on support. As this pre-TPE part of my job search wraps up this week, I realize that at no other time during graduate school have I ever felt like such a millennial.

All my applications were sent in via email or using online forms (which, since I’m on my soap box, can I just say, are such a hassle – I spend weeks making this beefy resume and then end up having to cut and paste it all into someone else’s format), and within an hour I was wondering why no one had emailed me back. All right, that’s a bit of an exaggeration – it was more like a day. I got easily frustrated when I saw a job posting on the Placement Exchange website, a note on the posting saying that I must apply on the institution’s web site, and then realizing there was no posting as promised. Nothing under the institution’s Human Resources section, or even under the department’s web page. This lack of structure made me have to keep checking until I was sure I missed something – was this some kind of trick used to weed out candidates? Only those who were smart enough to actually find the application should apply? I was convinced I was not passing this exam. And it made me even more frustrated and stressed out than I already was. I find myself compulsively checking email and the TPE website for any more listings, or to see if schools have placed themselves on my interview schedule yet. I Google-chat my grad school friends to ask if they've heard from other schools, research institutions on Wikipedia, Rate My Professor, and CollegeBoard.com, and my Facebook statuses and Twitter updates seem to consistently proclaim Stressed! Panicked! Exhausted!

But I have got to learn to be patient and think zen in these crucial days before TPE. I must take care of myself, get plenty of rest, and know that everything’s going to work out. The next time you’ll hear from me will be at the Placement Exchange!

from the desk of... candidate 1

Family Matters

The variables to consider when job searching are numerous. Each time I think I have accounted for all of the factors that will matter in my job search some new thing surfaces. Consistently, I have thought about location – I want urban, weather – I want warm, and pay – I want more. The newest factor that I have added to my list is my family.

I am an only child with strong ties to my mom. While I am extremely independent, as I get older I find that my relationship with my mom is getting better. Since leaving for college, I have always been at least a four-hour drive from home and for a year I was a solid two-hour flight away. However, as I think about moving again I wonder if I should minimize the distance between my mom and me.

This thought seems more important now than it did when I went away to school. Now, mom and I are more of friends than we have ever been. While she supports me in less tangible ways than she did in the past, her presence in my life seems larger than it ever has been.

When I chatted with my faculty advisor about this, she suggested that I should make my next move independent of consideration for my family. Based on her experience “these things have a funny way of working out,” and in this scenario there is no real reason to anticipate my needs of those of my mom. She suggested that I could only respond to those needs, when they actually manifest themselves as needs. Also, I distinctly remember my faculty advisor asking: “What if you mom doesn’t what you close by?” I never really considered that part.

For many people, family is extremely important and for others family members are the people you visit for holidays only. Like other adventures in my life, I have tended to follow my heart and I don’t think this job search will be any different. And if nothing else, it is always fun to have my mom visit me in the cool places that I live. She has up until this point, and I don’t anticipate that part to change.